Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Randomize
