Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
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will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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