there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
