If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
