It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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