He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
