girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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