Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
