The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
