I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize