i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
