i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize