I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
All I want is dick and wine.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
