nut hugger
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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