the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
