One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
