it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
