You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Randomize
