my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize