I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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