Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
