Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
