she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
