Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
pray to the hookup gods
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
