you're like a bully in the Christmas story
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
