It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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