good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
