she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
this will be a night to untag.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
