Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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