Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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