just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
