Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
