You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
