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• (847): View more from Illinois

  So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.

  (541): View more from Oregon

  Together?

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Preferably.

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• (407): View more from Florida

  Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!

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• (917): View more from New York City

  I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy

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• 

  27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (812): View more from Indiana

  I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila

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• (661): View more from California

  The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.

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• (713): View more from Texas

  He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...

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• (517): View more from Michigan

  Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.

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• 

  These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...

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• (530): View more from California

  I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.

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• (251): View more from Alabama

  He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.

  (1-251): View more from Alabama

  you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?

  (251): View more from Alabama

  Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad

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