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• (540): View more from Virginia

  new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.

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• (269): View more from Michigan

  After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.

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• (716): View more from New York

  i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave

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• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back

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• (208): View more from Idaho

  This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  I would do everything over again, except the fireball.

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• (431): View more from

  My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.

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