apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
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Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
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I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?