I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
