Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (815): the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest? http://tfl.nu/605y
  Replies (2) Good night (622) Bad night (1181)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator. http://tfl.nu/ju6d
  Replies (70) Good night (1389) Bad night (8237)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day. http://tfl.nu/f2q9
  Replies (16) Good night (1487) Bad night (3534)
• Favorite

  (626): View more from California

  a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (626): a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms http://tfl.nu/zv9q
  Replies (6) Good night (900) Bad night (3838)
• Favorite

  (+91): View more from India

  Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+91): Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not. http://tfl.nu/eg4c
  Replies (34) Good night (1648) Bad night (3960)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (405): It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you. http://tfl.nu/abkv
  Replies (15) Good night (987) Bad night (3502)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement. http://tfl.nu/wyat
  Replies (11) Good night (4346) Bad night (1367)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (613): Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi. http://tfl.nu/hd9g
  Replies (9) Good night (4185) Bad night (1492)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph" http://tfl.nu/ju46
  Replies (31) Good night (2756) Bad night (1844)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (304): Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better. http://tfl.nu/8g47
  Replies (4) Good night (2448) Bad night (563)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (631): The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute. http://tfl.nu/4jz7
  Replies (4) Good night (541) Bad night (943)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (949): You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard http://tfl.nu/9s6s
  Replies (4) Good night (688) Bad night (468)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package. http://tfl.nu/50h2
  Replies (3) Good night (957) Bad night (428)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar. http://tfl.nu/u9wl
  Replies (2) Good night (364) Bad night (752)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance. http://tfl.nu/togo
  Replies (0) Good night (422) Bad night (538)

Randomize