Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  Spring semester is just not the same w/o you

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  (313): Spring semester is just not the same w/o you http://tfl.nu/5znn
  Replies (7) Good night (723) Bad night (1007)
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  (516): View more from New York

  It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.

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  (516): It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch. http://tfl.nu/fh6f
  Replies (9) Good night (6403) Bad night (846)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.

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  (708): Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me. http://tfl.nu/gxz0
  Replies (14) Good night (5302) Bad night (664)
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  (940): View more from Texas

  I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.

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  (940): I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you. http://tfl.nu/qbhx
  Replies (11) Good night (751) Bad night (3766)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'

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  (817): she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!' http://tfl.nu/lcp1
  Replies (14) Good night (4949) Bad night (945)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.

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  (713): I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here. http://tfl.nu/xixg
  Replies (20) Good night (5121) Bad night (839)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there

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  (415): I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there http://tfl.nu/3k7t
  Replies (76) Good night (9918) Bad night (930)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay

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  (919): she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay http://tfl.nu/hwso
  Replies (13) Good night (3226) Bad night (741)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.

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  (513): Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything. http://tfl.nu/e1ys
  Replies (84) Good night (1965) Bad night (6817)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....

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  (613): I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there.... http://tfl.nu/g27d
  Replies (4) Good night (1784) Bad night (2616)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me

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  (504): i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me http://tfl.nu/qsky
  Replies (9) Good night (2155) Bad night (618)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test

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  (910): I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test http://tfl.nu/ucs5
  Replies (4) Good night (1935) Bad night (470)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup

  (868): View more from Trinidad and Tobago-Carib

  So no more sangria road trips?

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  (913): driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup (868): So no more sangria road trips? http://tfl.nu/l0ze
  Replies (1) Good night (431) Bad night (841)
• Favorite

  (979): View more from Texas

  my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad

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  (979): my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad http://tfl.nu/r26e
  Replies (10) Good night (480) Bad night (1478)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.

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  (586): He probably thinks you're playing hard to get. (248): Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone. http://tfl.nu/1zpx
  Replies (1) Good night (1394) Bad night (380)

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