walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
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alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
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Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.