Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I need a beard to bite.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.