Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize