how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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