i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Mom said you looked used
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
