I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
