lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
These 23 Groupies Had The Most Insane Sexual Experiences With Celebs
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
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Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?