Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.