Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
