i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.