How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.