Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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