yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
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Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
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the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
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