Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
pop tarts are not kleenex
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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