Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
