In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
