When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
