and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
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Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
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Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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