I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
