Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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