VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Randomize
