and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
