is your mom at the bar?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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