i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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