I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
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