Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
