Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
