I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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