either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
